Funny Quotes to add Some Pizzazz to Your Day

Amanda Austin, Reporter

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” –Alan Dundes

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” –Albert Einstein

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” –Andy Rooney

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” –Bill Watterson

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!” –Billy Connolly

“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” –Caroline Rhea

“Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” –David Letterman

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” –Oscar Wilde